What is that odd yellow thing in the sky today? Oh yes, it’s the sun. I remember that thing. This means I will get at least some solar today, though this time of year, the sun drops pretty fast beneath the enormous pines I have here. I pour myself a cup of joe—go just black today, not sure why. I will soon be grinding liver (good heavens). I need a strong stomach for that. I hope my beef/pork will hide the liver.
Ok, so I’ve lost three pounds in three weeks. I’m down to my last 3-5 pounds, I think (I don’t really care what I weigh—I just want to get healthier and tone up). I had already lost 15 pounds on the Ketogenic diet. So while this is not a tremendous weight loss in three weeks, it really is because I’m nearing my goal fitness. I suspect at some point my weight won’t change, but my body composition will. I see I am slightly more toned in the neck, though. Not sure it’s that visible yet, but it’s happening! At the end, I’ll take pictures of myself in the same clothes, and bathing suit. But for now, will take photos every week of my face.
Ok, three BIG things: My vision is improving! I can see up close better! I’m actually moving my face closer to the computer without glasses to see (though still not good enough). But that is surprising. I can actually pluck my eyebrows, see my eyelashes when I move CLOSER to the mirror! I haven’t been able to do that in almost ten years. My tinnitus in my left ear is improving as well. And my ears don’t itch! I sure hope those things continue. Actually, I feel fabulous. This sense of calm. I imagine my gut inflammation is no more, my intestines are healing.
Slight negative: My neck was stiff this a.m., but could be just sleeping wrong, bit of stiffness in my left shin. Doubt either is directly related to the diet. Will monitor.
I am not recommending anyone do this diet, just reporting my results. I will have been on this diet about two months when my blood work will be done. No one has any idea if this is healthy long term. And right now, my intention is to add plants back in very carefully, switch in and out of carnivore and keto every couple months or so.
3 Cans Sparkling Water LaCroix
-2 glasses filtered water
-2 cups organic coffee black
-2 cups organic coffee with a teaspoon of unsalted grass fed butter – blended to a froth
Fasting today mostly until dinner
-12 oz. liver meatloaf (First time I’ve tried this – grinding half pound liver in my mom’s old meat grinder. One pound each ground beef and ground pork, one egg, spices. I am going to use fresh rosemary and some other spices – got to cover that liver!)
-can smoked oysters drained
-1/4 cup heavy cream, ¼ cup Lactaid with splash of home-made vanilla (in rum). I find I need a touch of lactaid milk or my back will hurt. This is an observation made long before doing this diet. I apparently don’t absorb calcium in other forms. So this makes a really lovely after dinner drink on days I am not high on calories. All in a nice brandy snifter.
More Observations: I don’t miss eating anything in particular, but the romance of cooking/drinking a bit of wine seems a bit lacking. The white Russian liqueur sans the Russian seems to satisfy some of that. That and sparkling water in a wine glass. I’m finding ways to cook on weekends but during the week, the easier cooking is actually welcome. And this week, I’m planning liver meatloaf, roasted chicken, a couple ribeyes. One meal of strip steaks. Then next weekend I’ll do wings and shrimp on Sunday, likely another roast chicken. I feel like I ate quite a bit last week. Will watch it a bit more and see if I can lose a pound or two this coming week. It’s also nice to have a neater, cleaner refrigerator. Less rotting produce!
Dreams: “There is no law … in the way of the sleeper, to forbid him from rising from earth more happily than Icarus, from soaring above the eagles, or reaching a point above the loftiest spheres themselves. So one looks steadily upon the earth from afar, and discovers a land not visible even to the moon. It is also in his power to hold converse with the stars and to meet the unseen gods of the universe.”—Synesius of Cryene
Such is the power of our dream world. Our alternate universes.
Last night I dreamed a lot. I had an early dream about a chicken/egg scenario. The specifics escape me, but it was about affixing blame to someone else, I think. Who caused what. I am starting to consider trying to wake long enough to jot down the gist of my earlier dreams, but I’m such a poor sleeper, this will likely mean I can’t go back to sleep. So may try it, but am skeptical that will be a good idea for me, even short term. I guard my sleep.
I invoked my mother and grandmother as usual (both passed but who will figure in my new novel) in hopes of directed lucid dreaming. I failed. However, I dreamed of my close friend Carol whose mother passed away this weekend. I was at some carnival or craft event with her and we had parked a mile away. We were walking back to our car along the area where the event people parked and hung out. We could see our car a long way off across another road next to some tall white industrial buildings and through some trees. We didn’t talk much. I had the feeling I was just there for her, walking with her. Which is all anyone can ever do, of course. As a writer, nobody knows better than I do how inadequate words can be. I was aware of her loss and somehow my own, which is as close as I’ve gotten to my mother and grandmother appearing in my dreams. I was thinking of them in the dream, yearning for them, but I could not see them visually, as characters. Tomorrow I’ll relay a dream I had of my mom after she first passed on.