Fascinating stuff there. And who decides what is of value and what is success? Einstein probably could have elaborated. Great design there, isn’t it?
It was an interesting few days sorting my anger and everyone’s response to it. Not that anyone’s reaction is “wrong” so to speak. It’s more interesting than wrong.
Women are more inclined to accept the blame and/or just let me feel bad. Most of the men wanted to shift blame back on me or someone else. Or try to “fix me.” A few women are in the middle there and remind me of the obvious: you can’t control other people or many circumstances–just your reaction to them.
I knew that from the get-go. I can’t make people want to do anything and I can’t make them value me, be interested in me, or proud of me–no matter how much I want to. But sometimes letting go of something necessitates expressing anger. Just sometimes. In this case, it did. Or I’d still be pissed a year from now.
I learned a lot about all my friends and family–some I would have predicted, but some were slightly different. I found out who really is willing to put up with me and who isn’t and on what terms. And I found out I made some people feel bad I hadn’t intended to. (I see I picked up a follower from the UK who is a mental health expert. A producer, film maker–all to do with being crazy, I’ll bet.) Welcome.
And I learned I wouldn’t want to do this too often or I’ll be dreaming about having the runs just inside someone’s door forever and need the guy from the UK on a personal basis (actually, the dream was most likely a result of the headache I had and the actual feeling I was going to have the runs–feelings I woke up with!). But I wouldn’t want to risk it happening all the time. Not a great dream.
I thought my last blog would be the last one on this topic, but I find myself still interested in the whole thing–the curse of being a writer!
How is your Wednesday? I’d love to hear from you, so leave comments!
Diet: Yesterday I had chicken fajitas (no shell for me) but with garden veggies which likely are not really agreeing with me all that much but can’t leave alone. Today, I’ll have a nice strip steak and not much salad. I feel a fast day is needed soon, but no plans what I’ll feed the crew on Thursday.
L.E.K. 