I realized something that I used to remember when I read Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. It was a great book and if I kept it by my bedside and read it every day, it did wonders for my frame of mind. It is up at camp, though, and not here. I should perhaps buy another copy.
But today I was doing Kino, just a meditation yoga (I like her beginning strength one a lot, too). I’ve done it many times before, but I somehow missed her meaning until this morning. But she said something I had forgotten, about pain in the body (and emotional pain) — it is what it is. Refrain from making any judgments about either. I tend to beat myself up –mad at myself for being mad. But right now I’m really angry–what I don’t need to do is add guilt and anger at MYSELF for it. It’s amazing how much it lowers your temperature to just accept: I’m angry, I’m really angry, and I’ll just allow myself to be angry until I’m not. After all, this time I’m pretty sure I have good reason to BE angry — at the fascists and at some of my friends. I think being angry is ok for now. I know I haven’t consigned anyone to hell, though I have hoped what they’ve done will come back to bite them. And maybe even that is ok for now. Maybe that will disappear.
If it’s ok for me (and you) to be angry, and no guilt, the power of it diffuses immensely — until I suspect it disappears.
We also have things to do to combat this situation and doing them feels good. They will never dominate the American spirit or take away our freedom because unlike other fascist countries, Americans won’t submit to their tyranny. And they are so over-stepping, there’s a good chance they will implode.
People know what totalitarianism looks like and Donald Trump did not practice it. He didn’t censor people or come after anyone, or re-educate anyone or cancel anyone. Though it’s possible he’s going to utilize some of the leftist’s tactics since he’s the first conservatism to plan to be an “activist.” And we made the mistake of not doing just that 50 years ago–freedom is fragile and we let them plug away in too many spheres of influence. And no matter how much they demonize half this country it will likely begin to lie flat on the American sensibility. They think if they say something enough and brainwash people enough, they’ll believe it instead of their own eyes. But they might not be as stupid as they think — or for long.
And they can’t really take away the spirit of the American people. I suspect this is the quiet before the storm — let Trump get through this impeachment fiasco, then I think you are going to see people demand free and fair elections and an investigation and if they think they will make that illegal to say, I think they will have to think again. It’s what they did for four years–calling an election illegitimate, stolen by Trump and Russia — and we will not be quiet. It’s unbelievable how they are able to control this narrative and how stupid people are to listen to it. So many of us will not be quiet, they will have trouble making that speech illegal. Or any speech, no matter how many platforms or people they cancel.
But I’ve been mad at myself for being mad since I knew it was taking away my energy from writing and from fighting this fight. But I remembered it was being mad at MYSELF that was doing it. Being mad and feeling sad is ok if I say it is. And it is.
What is, simply IS — as Kino and Eckhart Tolle would say.
And that’s ok for now.