I realized something that I used to remember when I read Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. It was a great book and if I kept it by my bedside and read it every day, it did wonders for my frame of mind. It is up at camp, though, and not here. I should perhaps buy another copy.
But today I was doing Kino, just a meditation yoga (I like her beginning strength one a lot, too). I’ve done it many times before, but I somehow missed her meaning until this morning. But she said something I had forgotten, about pain in the body (and emotional pain) — it is what it is. Refrain from making any judgments about either. I tend to beat myself up –mad at myself for being mad. But right now I’m really angry–what I don’t need to do is add guilt and anger at MYSELF for it. It’s amazing how much it lowers your temperature to just accept: I’m angry, I’m really angry, and I’ll just allow myself to be angry until I’m not. After all, this time I’m pretty sure I have good reason to BE angry — at the fascists and at some of my friends. I think being angry is ok for now. I know I haven’t consigned anyone to hell, though I have hoped what they’ve done will come back to bite them. And maybe even that is ok for now. Maybe that will disappear.
If it’s ok for me (and you) to be angry, and no guilt, the power of it diffuses immensely — until I suspect it disappears.
We also have things to do to combat this situation and doing them feels good. They will never dominate the American spirit or take away our freedom because unlike other fascist countries, Americans won’t submit to their tyranny. And they are so over-stepping, there’s a good chance they will implode.
People know what totalitarianism looks like and Donald Trump did not practice it. He didn’t censor people or come after anyone, or re-educate anyone or cancel anyone. Though it’s possible he’s going to utilize some of the leftist’s tactics since he’s the first conservatism to plan to be an “activist.” And we made the mistake of not doing just that 50 years ago–freedom is fragile and we let them plug away in too many spheres of influence. And no matter how much they demonize half this country it will likely begin to lie flat on the American sensibility. They think if they say something enough and brainwash people enough, they’ll believe it instead of their own eyes. But they might not be as stupid as they think — or for long.
And they can’t really take away the spirit of the American people. I suspect this is the quiet before the storm — let Trump get through this impeachment fiasco, then I think you are going to see people demand free and fair elections and an investigation and if they think they will make that illegal to say, I think they will have to think again. It’s what they did for four years–calling an election illegitimate, stolen by Trump and Russia — and we will not be quiet. It’s unbelievable how they are able to control this narrative and how stupid people are to listen to it. So many of us will not be quiet, they will have trouble making that speech illegal. Or any speech, no matter how many platforms or people they cancel.
But I’ve been mad at myself for being mad since I knew it was taking away my energy from writing and from fighting this fight. But I remembered it was being mad at MYSELF that was doing it. Being mad and feeling sad is ok if I say it is. And it is.
What is, simply IS — as Kino and Eckhart Tolle would say.
And that’s ok for now.
L.E.K. 
There are things to be rightly mad about. And it doesn’t serve being angry at oneself for being angry. You’re also right to realize what your emotions are and let them exist because they do. If they’re difficult emotions, they won’t be buried at least and suppression of oneself won’t be a problem. I appreciate your healthy reflections.
Beautiful. 🌼
Thank you!
Hm, I misplaced your comment somehow! They always make my day! I hope I’m being somewhat healthy dealing with this because I’m so angry! I don’t want to be a hateful person and I don’t want to get sick from being so angry, either! I am doing the best I can to deal with it! You always help.
Thank you. Sorry for what has gone missing. Regarding anger, I guess it has a consuming effect, even though there’s reason for it. And no doubt it can affect our health, especially carried over time. I like the sink work and all the other things you all have done, which has nothing to do with anger. I simply wanted to note your effort and the results before absentmindedly forgetting. I hope there are good things in life to ameliorate angry feelings before they take over too much.
Hi Christopher, I thought I’d write to you on here since it will likely come back to you personally –nobody else commented on this post. I hope all is ok with you and I’m sorry if I said something along the way that upset you. You were commenting a lot. No doubt I might have. Not the greatest time in my life, that’s for sure. Maybe I have been venting too much. It’s hard to keep perspective doing this–perhaps I’ve completely lost it. But I hope all is ok with your health and I’m sorry if I upset you. L
I painted my bathroom last couple days and that helped. Lots of painting projects in this house and more. I’ll distract myself some with all that.
I “woke up” for real around 2009 or so, and I was MAD. I also wanted everyone around me to know what was going on.
Today, I am at peace (relatively). Do I LIKE what’s happening to my homeland? Nope. But it’s been a VERY long time coming, and there’s not a thing I can do to change it. The GOP can’t fix it: they’re part of the problem. In fact, when one can see how corrupt our system actually is, it’s easier to come to terms with the fact that it’s got to go. When something is so perverted from its original intention, the only way to get rid of the rot is to let it go. It’s time. That doesn’t mean you have to like it, or that you won’t mourn it.
It helps immensely if you believe in something bigger than yourself. The way I see it is that you either believe that something is in control (that God has a plan), or that nothing is in control (which is just chaos, which “science” espouses). I believe in God and Jesus Christ; however, as long as it’s not government or “science” that’s your god, we’re on the same side.
I think I’ve mentioned Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief before: give it another peek and see if it doesn’t apply.
Hear me now; believe me later. ❤️
Hi Susan, you always sound so much like me, only more resigned. It wasn’t that I didn’t see it coming. I’ve been preaching about it since 2008 or longer, really. I just thought we still had a chance when Trump got in there. I had no idea how really corrupt this was. There are few real people out there — whether they can really finally put something together that will help is debatable and I know, highly unlikely. Rand Paul, Matt Gaetz, Devin Nunin, Jim Jordan. They see it and they have a lot of PEOPLE behind them that see it. But this power machine is pretty daunting. You are right that you have to find some sort of peace through God or some inner resolve and as you said before, your friends. I still have a few and luckily for me, my whole family and even my daughter’s husband’s family, all have brains in their heads, so I’m lucky there. And I have some support on this blog (as long as we are free to do that.) We MIGHT have more power than we think. We’ve just never been activists or done things like Democrats do, but we are forced to now. I think that is what Trump has in mind. So we’ll see. I haven’t lost ALL hope, but I am definitely in the stages of grief. I described it like a death. Only it’s worse. Death you can accept. Tyranny? You can’t. We must keep talking and I KNOW that is why Rand Paul is talking. You can’t STOP me from saying this election was fraudulent–and there will be a group of them who stand up to them. We will see. I know odds are poor. Have a nice Sat. L