Carnivore Dreams – Angle of Repose, Beyond Order, Choosing Forgiveness and –Sychronicity – Part One (and a special thanks)

The Power of Forgiveness - Lorna Byrne

First, I hesitated to say anything about this after one day, but I have now actually managed to achieve my daily goals three days in a row. It’s almost shocking to admit that I have been unable to do that for over two years. I don’t think I was able to do that one single day in that time frame. I would get part of it, maybe exercise, a little reading, a little writing, whatever else it might be, cooking, cleaning, health appointments, but not once was I able to focus enough to reach my goals and schedule for one single day–which really was not all that demanding. I had no focus.

None.

This post is about all of the above — which is a complex mix of politics, care-giving, general health, reading/writing and the synchronicity of Time.

First, about Synchronicity. As I have been reading and revising, I suddenly realized that part of the reason I had not revised in two years is that synchronistically, I realized on some gut level, that, again, synchronistically, it was not Time. As a writer who believes that the synchronistic events of the day, everything we come in contact with and everyone we come in contact with, including the natural world, informs my work, I realize now I wasn’t being lazy–there was so much happening on every level of existence that to revise my book then was premature.

I couldn’t have revised that book until now if I’d wanted to.

Part of it is grief. Grief they know, takes two years to work through, and this change in my lifestyle was a form of that. Not that it was just grief and no good, way more complicated than that, but in the sense my life became something completely different than I planned, it was grief. Like when my son was born with Down’s. It was a grief process even though it turned out to be a blessing–it’s partly grief, adjustment, all about how you think your life is ordered, and it takes not just a small turn, but a huge one.

I just realized this post will be a three parter. Writing/reading; caregiving; politics; and health. Uh, three kinds of people, those who can do math and those that can’t. Four parter possibly, may five, though politics might get worked into writing/reading enough that it is a three-parter. We’ll see. Well, at least a four parter. This is the Synchronicity part first. Ha.

There’s no question the last few days have felt good. I got acclimated back into the book and my revision, actually read instead of only vegging on the murder channel –I’m reading three books. One religious one given me by my sister-in-law by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called Choosing Forgiveness; one by Jordan Peterson called Beyond Order, the next 12 rules for life; and finally Wallace Stegners Angle of Repose. I’m choosing to read no more than a chapter or two in each book per day as the choices are synchronistic, I know. My sister-in-law sent me the book out of the blue; I had been following Jordan Peterson when a blogger and my son brought him up and I read his first book, now his second; and finally, somewhere out of the blue I remembered the Stegner and felt pressed upon to re-read him — more on this — but a good writer friend of mine had recommended it years ago, saying it was the best book he’d ever read and it was “perfect.” (Like anything could be perfect.) It was in my top five books; it’s a masterpiece. I would put some of Louise Erdrich’s work up there, Love Medicine, almost any book by Margaret Atwood, and my friend Jack Driscoll’s short story collection Wanting Only to be Heard. But These are contemporary writers (I loved Hemingway and F. Scott, and Shakespeare, and even Agatha Christie, the list is long, long). But Kevin was right. This book was extroardonary and reading hte first chapter was synchronistically shocking — how relevant it is to our current political situation. Oh, I did have a couple criticisms of it. And it was like I insulted his first born son–we’ve since made up. Ha. More on this in the reading/writing post.

I digress a little.

I’m back into my exercise/yoga routines, my book, and my reading. I managed to do apartment books and cook on top of it. Fly fishing and hiking will be nice to work in this summer, and some big boat riding/fishing. But the point is I kept to my daily schedule/goals. It used to be not doing that was an exception.

Interestingly, as I’m writing this, I see Simon and Schuster ex-editors are starting their own press that welcomes conservatives, All Seasons Press. Synchronicity at work here. The other grief process I was going through is that I had been excommunicated from the Michigan literary community, university presses who are publishing one political point of view instead of good writing from many. As they should be since they are public universities. Similar things happened to me as an adjunct professor without tenure at Northern Michigan University. To my knowledge, I am the only conservative or libertarian writer in that Michigan community. At least the literary fiction crowd. I presume there were some conservatives who were publishing nonfiction along the way, though I suspect even that has been squelched. I knew I had to become full time care giver soon, but the adjustment to my identity (going from published literary writer and adjunct professor to hanging with a male chauvinist father who mostly believes women are here to serve–I exaggerate a little, but not much) was not easy. So seeing this new press as I write this — will get into the politics of reading/writing soon–we will be seeing conservatives starting presses, movie companies, corporations to rival Amazon (if Walmart doesn’t qualify), people starting their own home schools, Substack journalists already standing up even if they are not strictly conservative. Anyway, new opportunities for publication possibly. And a real awakening for conservatives.

I digress again.

Throw in a novel virus pandemic who the “experts” have no idea about, and you have a recipe for disaster and stagnation. Not just for me, for most Americans, I’m sure.

Mine was a perfect storm. Notwithstanding that I of all people know that there are others that have it worse than I do and that things can always get worse. One must count one’s blessings.

I think I can count them and vent simultaneously and I do. Always have.

So here you have Part I. Synchronicity. Like wine and Einstein (and Jung), everything in its Time.

And not before.

A note: this blog has probably saved my life. And yours, of course. It’s nothing like Facebook or Twitter. People interact completely differently and I’ve met people who have really been supportive. And I’ve been uplifted by their talent and their words. I’ve only had one problem on here. I managed to hurt someone’s feelings, totally unintentionally and ended up having to stop following her so I wouldn’t be tempted to do it again. She kept saying she was a bad person and somehow while trying to get her to stop saying or believing that, I somehow completely insulted her. I was kind of direct. Sad that happened. But I appreciate all of you more than you can know. Susan, John, Smitha, Kate, Christopher, Coy, Gottfried, whimsical wanderings, glass of elephant (tons of people I don’t know their names because they hardly include it, going by their site names like above–you know who you are), a special thank you to you all.

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